All This Time
by fezwearingjellybananas
Summary: Set after the series finale. Simmons can't sleep, so she goes to talk to Fitz in his hospital bed. FitzSimmons.


**Author's Note: Inspired by the OneRepublic Song of the same name (because I'm not great at titles) sort of. **

**Takes place after the finale of Series One**

**I don't own Agents of SHIELD. You can tell I don't because Ward is pretty much fine and Fitz isn't.**

* * *

"Fitz?" Simmons sat down by his bedside. "I don't know if you can hear me or not Fitz. There's lots of stories about comatose patients being able to hear. I hope you can hear me Fitz. I can't sleep Fitz. Not while you're down here. Not when you're not all right.

"Do you remember that time we just started the Academy and you saw the monkey down in the lab? You were determined to rescue him you said, until you realised that he wasn't going to be experimented on. I used to think the only reason you came down to the labs was to see that monkey.

"Or that time you thought it would be funny to climb up to the highest branch of the tree and make monkey noises? You really did love monkeys. But then you fell out the tree and I was terrified. You only broke an arm, but I was so worried. I made you that little monkey, remember? The little knitted one out of the pattern my grandmother sent. It used to sit in your sling. You were such a child.

"Then there was that time you designed your first proper invention for SHIELD after we finished the Academy. Most people designed some sort of weapon or something and you designed a little laser thing which let agents cut through the ground to escape? And you called it the Mouse Hole, because you're awful at naming things. Really, you are Fitz. Terrible.

"You know every top agent has on now? That's how Director Fury managed to escape from the Winter Soldier and how Agent Hill used it to help Captain America, Black Widow and Falcon out of the back of a HYDRA vehicle. So you saved the head of SHIELD and three heroes Fitz. Two of them from New York.

"Remember New York? We watched it on the news and you spent the whole time scribbling. Everyone kept frowning at you, thinking you didn't care. Until you came out with plans for the Night Night Gun, another awful name, and you asked me for my help to find something which would knock people. The only weapon you've ever designed and it doesn't even kill people. That was always your plan, wasn't it. You wanted to change everything. You never did believe people were inherently evil. You always wanted to give them a second chance. We should have known you wouldn't believe Ward was just born evil.

"That was just always you though Fitz. Always looking for another way.

"Do you remember the first day we met? You quite literally walked into me and dropped all your stuff. Then you started apologising and went really, really Scottish. And you started fumbling trying to work out what Americans would say so I said hello and you dropped everything all over again when you realised I was English. I laughed and you declared that, as the only two Brits, we had to stick together and you'd managed to smuggle some chocolate digestives over. You invited me over to your room to share them and you were even more shocked when I turned up with a box of ginger snaps. Your eyes were so very, very blue Fitz. And your ginger hair was just adorable. So were you. So are you.

"Our first Christmas was brilliant. That was wonderful. We both went home, then I woke up at six o'clock Boxing Day morning to a knock at the door and you were standing there with a huge grin on your face and a little box. It was the tackiest necklace ever with a little plastic monkey on it and you laughed and laughed, but I think I made up for it with the periodic table socks. Our parents were horrified and they vowed to always pick our Christmas presents for us after that, your mum doing all your shopping because the only shop you voluntarily went into was the bakery. And sometimes the greengrocers and the butchers. But you always picked the local shops over the supermarkets, you said they were nicer, that they had better food. I think you were right. I miss your greengrocers. It had the nicest strawberries in the world.

"And that time, just after we graduated, where you decided you were going to drive me around the whole of Britain one morning. And you stopped in a lay-by and told me to wait. I thought you were doing something in the bushes, but you came back with two trays of cherries from a little stall and we had a little competition as to who could spit the stones the furthest.

"Remember when they called us in to receive our assignments to here and you went in first and got told you were going to be stationed on the Bus and you were going to go and refuse, quit SHIELD and everything until I went in and they'd put me in the same place? I came out looking all upset. What was it I said? 'I'm so sorry Fitz, I've been given my assignment. I'm sorry. You're stuck with me. I'm on the same plane as you.' And you took a few minutes to work out what I'd said then hugged me.

"Remember that time we landed at Biggin Hill and Coulson and May sent us to do the groceries? Skye didn't trust us, but we managed to find a proper farm shop and bakery, just like old times. And we picked the best foods we could find, then ran into the supermarket only to pick up some digestives and ginger snaps. But we ended up buying six jars of Marmite, about nice jars of jam and Smarties and everything we could find that they don't sell in America. And when we got back they said they were never going to let us go shopping again, until we cooked your Mum's recipe for Toad in the Hole with the ingredients and everyone declared that we'd have to stop in Britain more often so we could pick up proper food. Because plane food isn't great.

"Remember when we went to France? You just knocked on my window one day and said we were off on a trip and that I'd need my passport. I asked if I needed to pack anything and you said no, we had to get to the airport in ten minutes so we didn't miss the checking in and security. Then you held up a bag and you'd already packed everything I needed during lunch the day before when you'd broken into my room. Not that you needed to break in, you had the spare key anyway. You wouldn't tell me where we were going, you wouldn't even give me the ticket and you spoke to the people at check in and security and the flight attendants so they didn't tell me either. Then we landed and we were in Paris and we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower and you didn't like the heights, but you came anyway and we went to the Louvre and we pretended we were just two normal tourists in Paris, just for the day. And everyone kept asking if we were together, and you kept saying just as friends and we saw so much. I expected to be in huge trouble when we got back, but you'd spoken to everyone and actually booked it as holiday in return for staying through half term. All because you wanted to surprise me for my birthday. You were so sweet.

"Remember your mum's birthday Fitz? You tried to bake a cake, but you accidentally used self-raising flour with baking powder and it rose too much and sank. It took us ages to bake another one.

"Remember every night before I had an exam you came up to my room to stop me revising and panicking and made the both of us a cup of tea each and we sat down and watched Doctor Who? Then before your exams I went down to your room and did the same thing. I don't think I would have made it through them without you.

"Remember during the first few weeks when we woke up at obscene hours because we weren't used to the different time zones yet? We watched Doctor Who then too, and we always watched the News at Ten, even though it was ridiculous, we weren't even in the right time zone, it was never on at ten? So we started calling it the News at Four.

"And that conversation we had about how there weren't any good people on the site. How it was the first time boys or girls had ever paid attention to us, but none of them were right? We had a couple of flings I suppose, but we never settled down. You were always there to pick up the pieces when it went badly. You were always there Fitz.

"Oh, and remember that time we decided to be incredibly British for the day until they started yelling at us to speak English and we just laughed back saying we were, it was their country that got it wrong. We were brilliant at winding people up.

"Remember when they first called us FitzSimmons? Neither of us caught on until later. We just thought they'd dropped the and, until we noticed everyone had starting signing everything FitzSimmons as well, that they'd just decided we were one person because we were inseparable.

"Remember that time you accidentally set your shirt on fire and had to go back to your room wearing my jumper? And no one noticed. So we decided to see how far we could get away with wearing each other's clothing.

"I'm wearing your jumper right now Fitz. It smells of you. The washing powder your mum uses, engine oil and that soap I got you one year.

"Remember home Fitz? I don't think I have the same home anymore. I love England, and I love Scotland, and I love my parents and I love your mum and I love the Bus, but those aren't home Fitz. Does home have to be a place? Because I think my home is by your side. Wherever you are, that's home. Be it England, Scotland, the Academy, the Bus. Just with you.

"I don't get it Fitz. You save everyone. It's your job. You save people. You saved me. So why couldn't you save yourself too? Why are you stuck there Fitz? It's not fair.

"You said something Fitz. You said that I was more than your best friend. Well, maybe you're more than my best friend too. You're the other half of me Fitz. There's no FitzSimmons without you. I need you. And if you die, may be you will be part of a monkey Fitz, but I don't want you to die. Please don't leave me Fitz. Maybe. Maybe all that time we were at the Acadmey talking about how we never would find anyone, maybe we were wrong. Maybe the reason we never found anyone, why none of those people were right, maybe it was because you were standing by my side the whole time. Maybe I just was too blind to see it before.

"It always comes back to you Fitz. Everything. I always end up heading for you. You're the one person I can't live without.

"I think I love you Fitz. I think I always have, ever since you walked into me with those bright blue eyes and introduced yourself as Leopold "don't call me Leo or Leopold" Fitz.

"Please don't leave me Fitz. I love you."

Simmons got up to leave. It was getting late, Coulson would be cross if he knew she'd spent another night watching Fitz instead of sleeping. But she'd managed to talk this time. She hadn't just cried. She was crying now. Again.

"Jemma."

She turned around sharply.

"Fitz?"

"Jemma."

"Oh Fitz."


End file.
